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| Kiss my ringer and park those shoes |
On the roof of a 24hr garage just off the M25, the fluffy figure of 'Tommy Gore Lady boy' climbs precariously in white heeled scaramanger shoes along the ridge and towards the CCTV camera.
As the garage attendants scream and shout at the white ball of fluff figure that is Tommy, he laughs inanely puffing on a huge cigar as they frantically throw out of date sandwiches, half eaten Cornish pasties, bags of monster munch crisps, and crusty copies of Razzle at his fluffy torso.
All of the makeshift missiles whizz past Tommy's rather over sized head missing him by a proverbial mile which infuriated the garage attendants even more, and made Tommy almost swallow his cigar as he laughed almost uncontrollably at their pathetic attempts.
Then,teetering on the edge of the 24hr garage roof in white heeled scaramanger shoes, and in full view of the CCTV camera, Tommy pulls down his pale silken pants, and shows the garage attendants a brand new place for them to park their highly polished new shoes.
Story by Tommy Dandruff
Collage by Arnie Canoe
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