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| The future is 'reality' CCTV Stars |
For the safety and security of all subjects of Her Royal
Highness Queen Elizabeth II, Closed Circuit Television is installed in nearly
every public place in our fair isle. According to latest estimates there are 1.85
million cameras in Britain, which amounts to just 1 for every 32 people. Most CCTV cameras in Albion are likely to be
privately owned, which is particularly comforting for the private section who
can make money from the police and other customers by selling the video footage
that has been captured.
Despite the proliferation of the mechanical eyes located
seemingly everywhere, police admit that just one crime is solved for every
1,000 cameras. Not too high a statistic, but surely the millions spent on these
great audio-visual recording devices was not in vain?
In the late 1990s when the wonderful ‘reality’ TV show, Big
Brother was broadcast, the population got its first taste of what it is like to
be filmed in their own homes on a constant basis. Think back to how exciting it
was to witness a complete nobody sleeping in their Big Brother bed, live, for
hours! It was truly dreamy and something one never forgets, like their first
kiss, their first car, their wedding and the first time they told a lie.
As
series after series of Big Brother was shown on our TV screens , the more
accustomed we all have become to being endlessly filmed and displayed to
whoever had the stamina and lack of IQ to watch.
With the increase in CCTV cameras throughout the land, this
same viewing public could soon begin to watch the general public walk the
streets minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Perhaps it could even take
over the amount of viewers watching prime time TV and a YouTube clip about
something really amazing, like the latest celebrity female in a bikini, or the
latest celebrity male in grubby pants. Perhaps Davina McCall can take a break
from admiring herself for one minute and spend some time narrating what is
being witnessed from all of this CCTV cameras? Perhaps we could even witness a
bored husband standing outside clothes shops whilst his glamour-obsessed wife
tries on dress after dress inside?
It is all too much to take some time.
Such a beautiful vision of the future of the country would
be to have millions of CCTV cameras installed literally everywhere. With the ever-shrinking size of CCTV cameras,
perhaps one day we could have cameras installed on our private parts and we
call all witness the exact moment conception of our child took place? The
possibilities are truly endless and awe-inspiring.
With the invention of the television we have seen a slow
descent into the output of the most creative and intelligent minds in the
universe. From Coronation Street to EastEnders, from The Biggest Loser to Hole
in the Wall, from Come Dine With Me to Location, Location, Location, we are
truly blessed with the pinnacle of viewing evolution. The heights of the
consciousness are channelled like a foaming tide blasting through a crack in a
dam.
We must never forget the absolute genius unleashed on our
screens and realise that one day soon we could make the most positive leap of
evolution: forget our TV sets and watch our CCTV sets. For you too could watch ‘reality’
TV filmed anywhere in the world.
Wouldn’t that be truly amazing?
By Penelope Itchy
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