As the news breaks of the potential collaboration of two of the worlds most talentless fuck-wits ever to slide off of a mortuary slab, you have to wonder how music has managed to drop to such a moronic level in society that Americas answer to a top producer, and musician is now seen as the two legged humanoid dog turd 'Snoop Dogg', and America's answer to a talented singer/model/actress is the recently exhumed, shaved and Botoxed humanoid weasel 'Paris Hilton'.
The above collaboration will be one of such massive shit encrusted proportions that it will be almost as bad as spending the weekend with 'The Krankies' whilst drugged out of your stupid mind on Heroin at some seedy little cockroach infested hotel somewhere near Scunthorpe, or even worse than that spending a winter 'Potholing with Dale Winton' deep in the heart of some wind swept, God foreboding place with only one sleeping bag, a pocket game of 'Cluedo', two tins of Irish stew, and a half eaten Kendal mint cake.
'Snoop Dogg', along with 'Paris Hilton' could not make music of any artistic merit even if their tepid little lives depended on it. The resulting musical collaboration of theirs will be a bit like listening to 'The theme tune to Trumpton' being played backwards out of an arse flute whilst razor blades and diarrhoea are forced down your ears by a rather large, and very hairy, backwater swamp wrestler called 'Sammy the Spleen'.
Apparently this will also be 'Paris Hilton's' comeback album, so if we want to look for comparisons of illustrious comebacks in the corridors of musical or historical significance it would obviously help if the subject for comparison was actually noticed to have existed in the first place.
Rappers like the great 'Chuck D' of 'Public Enemy' must be beside himself to see the empty rapping abilities of a skunked out jock strap, flapping on about 'Guns' and 'Bitches' in an openly hostile, and misogynistic fashion bringing women down to the level of a piece of meat used only for sexual purposes.
Are we that deluded as a society to actually view anything created by celebrities like 'Snoop Dogg', or 'Paris Hilton', collectively or otherwise as worthy of a single hard earned dollar?
Or is this the new level of musical excellence for people to aspire to in all it's fakery adorned, plasticated facial, bling jangling shitedom?
By Roland Barnacle
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