INK Ltd 2012 Oscar nominations

The Bloodline Award Ceremony

Here we have below a list of some of the nominees for this years 2012 Oscars.

This vulgarity display of illuminated reptoids, carefully chosen from the bloodlines of the select few to grace our movie screens like a plague ridden display of rejects, golems, and moronic inbreds is a perfect example of how the few control the many through the medium of film.

So here are the 2012 Oscar nominations as decided by INK Ltd's independent team of judges, headed and overseen by none other than Mr Brian Marigold Clog Esq.

BEST ACTOR:

Gary Oldman- For his deeply moving portrayal of a really grumpy cunt in the cold war circus extravaganza 'The Red Trampoline Man'.

George Clooney- For his joyous portrayal of 'King Fraggle' in the smash hit family film 'The return of Fraggle rock'.

Bradley Pitt- For his heart wrenching portrayal of a lonely lamppost in the tear jerking love story 'Bumble Bobble and the lonely street lamp'.

BEST ACTRESS:

Meryl Streep- For her sickly portrayal of the most hateful and vile woman ever to walk the earth in the hideous biopic 'The Bilderberg Bitch'.

Glenn Close- For her inanimate portrayal of an ageing bin liner in the creepy horror film 'Sunshine and smiles on a heavenly tropical beach'.

BEST PICTURE:

Martin Scorsese- For his 3D film epic 'Colin's Beans'.

Stephen Spielberg- For his grandiose war film 'Donkeys in the mud'.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

Nick Nolte- For his ground breaking portrayal of a free floating plasma ball in the sci-fi blockbuster 'Twinkle'.

Kenneth Brannagh- For his hilarious portrayal of a Dickensian Fop in the romantic comedy 'So what if she's dead'.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

Janet mcteer- For her sublime portrayal of an Actress nobody has ever heard of in the Spanish subtitled crazy crime caper 'Bullfight and the Chimney Sweep'.

Melissa McCarthy- For her endearing portrayal of an Actress nobody has ever heard of in the stunning period drama 'Look A Monkey'.

BEST SCRIPT:

The Artist

Donkeys in the mud

Twinkle

Bumberclot Ridge

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS:

The cryogenics life support team- For their stunning ability to re-animate 'Walt Disney' for the lead role in the lavish book adaptation to film of 'Mein Kampf'.

The Baron Frankenstein school of plastic surgery- For incredible surgical make-up transformations of 'Kenny Rogers' for the life story biopic 'The man who was Kenny Rogers'. 

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD:

Clint Eastwood- For having the incredible ability to play a craggy faced boulder in every movie he has ever made.

Michael Caine- For having the stunning ability to play the same old piece of antique wooden furniture in every movie he has ever made.

Sean Connery- For having the amazing ability to play a miserable old bastard in every movie he has ever made.


And there you have the 2012 illuminated Oscar nominations as chosen by our team here at INK Ltd's, under the careful supervision of Mr Brian Marigold Clog Esq.

We do hope you have decided on your own personal favourites from the list above, and we welcome any feedback via INK Ltd website, or any social media sites with regards to the above list of the 2012 Oscar nominations.


                                                                                                            By Roland Barnacle