The Baron Frankenstein School Of Plastic Surgery

The Baron Frankenstein School of Plastic Surgery has all the answers to your superficial facial concerns.

As you can imagine the woman above would lead a life of misery due to the fact that she has the face of two painted children instead of two eyes, a nose, and a mouth. But for only £150 this lady is able to transform her face into something altogether more socially acceptable, and alluring to the opposite sex, saving her from the pain of living her life like that of a social leper and a freak.

Surgical techniques available for £150 are as follows:


1) The cranial knee stretch

2) Rosy cheek bleaching (for the arse also)

3) Nose brow configuring

4) Ear sculpting

5) Dr Chisels elbow tightener

6) The floundering Trout mouth


So for only £150 you too could transform your life with the help of our highly skilled, and CRB checked Romanian surgeons who, due to Government visa restrictions, will only be available for a short period of time before deportation.

Remember, The Baron Frankenstein School of Plastic Surgery can change your life from that of a socially inept reject, into a Hollywoodised stepford biped, and all for the price of a cheap night out with one of the cast from Holby City.

So go on....Transform your life at The Baron Frankenstein School of Plastic Surgery.


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Collage by Arnie Canoe

Written by  Roland Barnacle