The Popularity Of Rupert Kilt

Being so well liked
Was a drag for Rupert Kilt
Walking down the street
Could take an eternity
Due to constantly
Being stopped
By passing ole crones
With hairy chins
And sovereign ring wearing
Shellsuit adorned
Chavettes
Jangling and skanking
To the tune of
Inbred Strum n Bass
Which was always
Blaring out
From mobile phone
Appendage
And every morning
Fan mail
Always graced
Rupert Kilt's doorstep
Letters of admiration
For his amazing hair quiff
Podgy bespectacled face
And his wonderful legs
Which dazzled
Like jewelled milk bottles
In the midday
Blazing Sun
The pressure
Of being so well liked
Was all to much
For Rupert Kilt
There was only one
Logical
Step
To dealing with this constant
Attention
And admiration
From ole crones
Chavettes
And most of
The worlds population
And so with that 
Rupert Kilt decided
To become a Junky
And sink into a world
Between worlds
And exist
In a forgotten universe 
Of lost souls
And broken dreams
This
His only solution
To the pain
Of being
So popular
In a world
Of discarded
Souls
And pointless
Popularity
Contests
Orchestrated
To enhance
Inadequacy
And fuel isolation


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Collage by Heston Quiff

Written by Tommy Dandruff