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| Captain Black with blow up doll |
Here we have two of the most nauseating individuals known to modern day science, in an excerpt from 'Twat' magazines monthly section entitled 'We are Normal'.
With more diva like tantrums, shit encrusted tiaras, chubby necked shirt squeezing, living dead personalities, and face fakery than you can shake a stick at, Sir Elton John and his butler have it all.
The problem is that this couple of rejects from the Baron Frankenstein school of plastic surgery, actually walk amongst mankind as if they fit in alongside humanity without anybody even noticing.
It's as if Sir Elton John and his Butler believe themselves to look like normal human being's?
Anybody can see that this cannot be the case when this couple of Gothic like golems loosely resemble the look of pre cambrian mollusc's fresh from some kind of primordial soup swimathon. And with a music back catalogue so prehistoric and outdated that even the most modern carbon dating techniques are unable to tell from which piss pool of a century Sir Elton john's music crawled from out of it really is difficult to know how it is possible for them to be where they are today..wherever indeed that is?
Even Sir Elton John's woven head looks like it has had a titanic fight with a bale of hay, four savage Badgers, and a wagon full of half pissed 'Des O'Connor impersonators. As for the butler's hair just five minutes with some good ole fashioned boot polish seems to have done the trick quite nicely.
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Written by Roland Barnacle
Image supplied by Arnie Canoe
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