Great Jubilee Landowner: Queen Elizabeth II

My Land Not Yours - My Diamond Jubilee Not Yours - Got it?

The plot of land is the plot of man. That has been the case since the beginning of our existence on planet Earth. It is the amount of space in which we live safely and in comfort, free from predators and natural disasters, that has allowed mankind to flourish. However, the division of the land over the centuries is not in any way done in fair proportion to everyone who lives on the planet. In fact the majority of the planet have no land at all on which to live.

Our great overlords have acquired land through claiming it as their own private possession, regardless as to anyone else using it. Once this has been claimed, fights, skirmishes, even wars have been fought to confirm birthright of the land upon which they have laid claim.

No one knows why one plot of land 'belongs' to someone. It is almost a mystical bestowal from ages dark. But if we trace the lineage back it is very clear that only by force was land ever taken and 'owned' by someone. It may have changed hands over the years but someone has claimed the deed to the plots of land. A deed claimed in bloodshed.

This is the natural order of things in the 21st century, with our laissez-faire morality, and seemingly ever-optimistic views on progress; we still persist in the illusion that the land is legally owned by people.

How can it?

My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather lost a battle to yours and so his land passed on down the ages at my expense? Sorry? Are you serious?

No one and no thing has ever conferred any such right. The planet belongs to noone and everyone.

That is all it comes down to.

However, through the legal framework of the capitalist system, the capitalist dictatorship confers the decrees upon who 'owns' the land. They enforce it by the capitalist state; the armed bodies of men who are the protectors of the capitalist dictatorship. Sorry fools, we do not live in a neutral 'democracy', where all is fair in love and war, and all that crap. We live under a capitalist dictatorship; the dictatorship of capital over labour. Land rights are integral to keep the current
system of tyranny in place.

In the UK, there are 60 million acres of land. 59 million people live on those 60 million acres. However, the land used to house 59 million people consists of between just 4.4 million - 6 million acres, which is about 10% of the total land at a maximum. If we take away the land that we can settle, including farmland, land unaccounted for and so forth we are left with in the region of 40
million acres of land that is owned by just 189,000 families.

The vast majority of the large estates owned by these families are held by just three classes of people:

Aristocrats
Baronets
Residual landed gentry

These three groups, coincidentally, sit in Parliament, are the captains of the militia, officers of the Army, Navy and Air Force, are the bishops and cleary of the church, and the judges of the legal courts. They also keep everyone else out of these professions through their close-knit nepotism. 

What is significant in the UK is that the majority of the land is owned by people from these groups of society, but we do not know exactly who owns what. No full charter exists to confirm this. The Land Registry is patchy at best and great swathes of land do not have the owner's details recorded.

This fact alone makes it very interesting when you look at so-called patriots of this country. Considering that the majority of us Britons own absolutely nothing of this country's land, it is an absurdity that we claim to be 'British' or feel 'British'. We are merely living on other people's land if
we accept the capitalist dictatorship's claims that land can be owned.

The absurdity continues when you realise that the myth of nationality, the nation state and going to war with other nations, is based upon man's relation to his 'land'. When you own no land how the hell does this work? You are fighting like peasants, or dogs, for your good master, so he can take you back to your kennels in the kingdom you don't even have a share in.

Why do landowners want to own land? It is expressed well by the 15th Earl of Derby in
1881:

'The object which men aim at when they become possessed of land in the British Isles may, I think, be enumerated as follows. One, political influence; two, social importance, founded on territorial possession, the most visible and unmistakable form of wealth; three, power exercised over tenantry; the pleasure of managing, directing and improving the estate itself; four, residential enjoyment, including what is called sport; five, the money return - the rent.'

Derby owned 68,942 acres in five counties back in the day. The current heir to the estate is the 19th Earl of Derby, who is a merchant banker, went to Eton, married the daughter of a major landowner in Essez, and his father is an Old Etonian as well. His current home is not registered on the Land
Registry.

By burying the details on who owns the land in Britain through excluding information from the Land Registry, our dear leaders, the landowners, hide themselves from public view.

Be honest now, who really knows who owns the land in Britain? Who had even heard of the 19th Earl of Derby before reading this article?

My particular favourite confidence trick is the so-called Council Tax in Britain. This is basically a land tax which averages to £550 per household and totals around £10.4 billion per year. The 189,000 families who own 40 million acres pay £103 million in Council Tax, but then receive a subsidy of £2.3 billion from DEFRA, and another £2 billion in subsidies from the EU. The peasants pay the Council Tax, the landowners get payments back from a different area and are laughing at the majority of the population.

Council Tax, just like its predecessor the Community Charge and the rates, are billed as the revenue collected by the government to pay for local services. This is a mere fiction. Council Tax is used purely to supplement budget grants that are paid directly to local authorities by central government. These grants could be a lot larger, and hence Council Tax a lot lower if the central government was not paying out large subsidies to the landowners. When you look at the Irish who pay no council tax, they still receive local services.

If Council Tax was ended, if land and transactions in land taxed, if avoidance of tax by placing land in offshore trusts pulled and subsidies ended, then the peasants would be better off and local services would still run. In fact, between £12 billion to £17 billion would be raised, which would cover the £10.4 billion raised by the plebs in Council Tax.

With that in mind, I suggest we should introduce a new tax called: The Diamond Jubilee Shine the Queen's Diamonds Tax. Everyone should pay a tenth of their income towards cleaning costs to ensure that the Queen's diamonds are sparkling for the Jubilee this June. It is very important that we mere peasants understand our place and realise that 'democracy' is in actual fact Orwellian speak for 'dictatorship'.

We should also realise that as we own nothing in this land and nothing in any other country, we do not have anything in common with those who do own land. That step taken, we should then realise that we do have more in common with the vast majority of people in the world who also do not own any land.

If you seriously want to be whistling 'God Save the Queen' this Jubilee then you are either a landowner yourself or a poor deluded mind slave who loves the thought of another century of poverty, slavery, serfdom and misery with fuck-all reward.

So tally-ho old chaps and have fun living on someone else's land! Good oh! What what what!


by Raygun

Collage: Wolf Boy And The Number 12 Bus

As Wolf boy sat
Alone in the Bus shelter
Waiting for the number 12 Bus
To take him to
Remington Place
His mind started to drift
And reminisce
About his long lost love
Margaret Sykes
And all of the special things
That Wolf boy
Adored about her
The way she tied her hair back
With pieces of old string
How she looked
In a polka dot bikini
Made from old curtains
Her brilliant use
Of foul language
In the cinema
And the way
She used to delicately
Suck
Cheap lollipops
Whilst watching "Casualty"
On her Portable
Colour T.V set
Which was balanced precariously
On the edge
Of a worm ridden
Wooden table
Standing lonely
In her tiny
Living room
And as the memories
Started to reside
Slowly into the Back
Of his mind
Wolf boy suddenly looked up
Quite startled
And
In a blind panic
Dashed out of the Bus shelter
Howling at the top of his voice
As the last
Number 12 Bus
Of the evening
Drove on by


For more surreal short stories, collage artwork, only a handful of people exist, how the stars relax, odd one out, celebrity binman, music by The Harridans, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your minds eye to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Collage by Heston Quiff

Written by Tommy Dandruff

Collage: Dress For The Moment

In casual distant memory box
On top of sand dunes cluttered
Viewing metal porpoises rusting
In calm sea dancing
To aquatic underwater symphonies
Swirling Wurlitzer blows bubbles
Drifting galleons down supper hastily
Inside out ribbons of fancy
Trailing against soft pink handshake
Cut into sections side pockets
Dowsed with petals silver showers
Enveloping her slow smoke bellows
Raising onwards to ageing rafters
Oiled torso twisting delicate
Drapes of silken blue tender
Inside neon red signs of adulation
Collecting teardrops in a tea cup
Without spilling the buried temptation
All rise
Dressed in shining golden armour
All rise
Dressed in tight leather tourniquet
All rise
Dressed in slim suit soft tailored
All rise
Dressed in white gown alter scurry
All rise
And wet embrace
Your invisible friend
Whilst slowly
Entwined with barbed wire
And casually
Spoon fed dripping honey
Yet always
With everlasting freedom
Dressing
For the moment


For more abstract collage artwork, cut-up writing, abstract paintings, surreal literature, comic strips, magazines, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your voice box to an Instant Nowhere Kulture.


Collage by Heston Quiff

Cut-up writing by Spartacus Mole

Celebrity Binman Part 2: Carole Malone

I'm Zelda from the Terrahawks

Here we have part two of the game "Celebrity Binman", a game which you can play from the comfort of your very own Charles Dickens armchair, or massively out of shape Thomas the Tank Engine bean bag. To play you must be a subscriber to our website, this way you will be able to cast a vote from the list of potential victims..er I mean participants.

Part one saw the silver haired squeak "Philip Schofield" chosen to endure a week of gruelling twelve hour shifts at the mercy of not only the binmen themselves, but the grime of the nation. By the end of the week "Mr Schofield" was as limp as a Vicars handbag, and babbling incoherently like a backwater simpleton. All in all a resounding success I think you will agree.

For part two of "Celebrity Binman" we see that the good ole subscribers have chosen that foul minded old crone "Carole Malone" to participate in "Celebrity Binman". Looking like "Zelda" from eighties sci-fi puppet drama "Terrahawks", and with all the personal appeal of a flea ridden, urine stinking cat that has just decided to throw up a football sized hairball encrusted with stomach bile, mice skulls, and half digested cat food, "Carole Malone" is clearly a worthy choice for this role. And with no resounding talent in any way, shape or form, no better choice could have been made for this months game.

The location for "Carole Malone" to spend a week of gruelling twelve hour shifts as a "Celebrity Binman" is deep in the heart of the East end of London amidst a backdrop of dark cockney drum and bass, Jack the Ripper style Masonic slashings, drugged up alleyway bum bashings, and sky vomit wipeouts. The binmen will take the horrible old bastard "Carole Malone", who incidentally used to be "Peter Cushings" stunt double for a short time, around some of the most disgusting areas they can find in an attempt to get "Zelda" closer to her natural self.

No attempt will be made at any time to pander to the whingeing, crying, pleading for mercy or multiple breakdowns that may ensue as the week goes on for this months "Celebrity Binman" choice "Carole Malone".

And so there we have it. This months choice to spend a week as a "Celebrity Binman" is that hideous, repugnant old cretin "Carole Malone". Stay tuned to find out the outcome of this game next time on "Celebrity Binman".


For more savage celebrity satire, odd one out, political humour, only a handful of people exist, how the stars relax, walking corporate billboards, the may faces of Victoria Beckham, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your thighs to an Instant Nowhere Kulture.



Written by Roland Barnacle

Collage: All Back To Mine

Raise your concrete glass
With paper trail in closet
Gangrene yourself a new personality
Strip down cold war jackets
Raise purple ruffles to the moon
Spray scent into your eyes brown widening
Call out names blue turbo
Wood shaving bags in corner wet shade
All back to mine
For a custard tart replay
And rum truffle fondling
Without the happy medium
Of being in the end contented
Draped in sunflower knitted scarf
Long length to red knees
keeping warm your knocking knee caps
All back to mine
All back to mine
For a finger of fudge
And a half time giggle resistor
All back to mine
All back to mine


Yet again a huge thanks to INK House Studios collaborator Spartacus Mole for taking the time to construct these cut-up words to go with my piece of collage artwork. The collage is 50 cms x 50 cms, and is available via the deviant art link on our website along with many other pieces of artwork.

For more collage artwork, abstract paintings, comic strips, illustrations, cut-up writing, magazines, music by The Harridans and Fat Wife Skinny Husband, political satire, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your armpits to an Instant Nowhere Kulture.


Abstract Collage by Heston Quiff

Cut-up words by Spartacus Mole

The Harridans CD Inlay: Listen With The Harridans

The above image is a CD inlay for lo-fi post punk band "The Harridans". The album is called "Listen With The Harridans" as this is what they would like you to do, just as they did when they recorded it.

Even though the picture has in no way been altered, or indeed airbrushed for a more sleek and refined look to the classic harridan "Nora Batty's" face, it still does not alter her perfection for this CD inlay.

On this CD the songs are all centred around an imaginary inbred village full of mindless webfooted moronic spitefulls that exist within this imaginary world. The lyrical content is sardonic, full of venom, and scathing sarcasm, whilst the music itself is deliberately mocking of this hideous inbred village.

Stylistically the music is still in keeping with it's post punk/lo-fi approach, however there are elements of Country Rock, Avant-Garde, and experimental improvisations to keep the concept fused together.

The Songs contained on this CD are as follows:


1) Inbred Funk

2) Yokel Piece Of Shit

3) Concrete Pig

4) Sadistic Anorak

5) Chicken Fister

6) Boss Hog/Hog Castrator/Porkies Diner

7) White Trash Song

8) Brush Ballad


For more songs by The Harridans, and Fat Wife Skinny Husband, collage artwork, T-shirt designs, magazines, surreal short stories, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your eyebrows to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Image chosen by The Harridans

Written by Scythe Underdog

Missing Boiled Egg Poster

This poster is a plea to all the good natured members of the public out there to help find my son's missing boiled egg.

All of our family have been frantically looking for over a week now, and we are becoming increasingly concerned as the weather is quite chilly at the moment, especially at night time, and we really do not want our son's boiled egg catching a cold or worst still being eaten by a fox.

We really cannot understand how the boiled egg was able to disappear from our son's power rangers egg cup in the first place as we were all only momentarily distracted from the table by our neighbour "Jim Jim" who was outside on his front lawn wrestling with his pet pig called "Sandra". This lasted for only 5 minutes at the most, yet when we turned back to the kitchen table the boiled egg was gone.

The police understandably are very busy at the moment, and they have really tried to be patient with our plight, but have found it almost impossible not to become aggressive with us resulting in the use of pepper spray, and rubber bullets being used on us as we keep constantly bombarding them with our idiotic theories on who could have taken our son's boiled egg.

One of our theories is that Satanic overlords have kidnapped the boiled egg for their blood curdling rituals. Another of our theories is that Mrs Miggins from No:9 sneaked in and stole the boiled egg on her mobility scooter to fill her own gluttonous stomach.

Whatever the reason we just want our son's missing boiled egg back in his power rangers egg cup, right next to his bread soldiers, which incidentally are really stale and crunchy at this moment in time.

If anybody can help please contact your local Crimestoppers helpline, or you can contact us directly on the address below.

Many thanks for your time

Mrs Beryl Blanket
1210 Semolina Court
The Witchfinder General Estate
Just left of Towering Inferno alleyway
Behind the burnt out Renault
The house with a rusty steel door
Careful of the Rottweiler
That's it right beside the Council tip


For more ludicrous missing posters, fake letters, news just in, how the stars relax, celebrity binman, only a handful of people exist, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your nostrils to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Collage poster by Arnie Canoe

Written by Roland Barnacle

The Diamond Jubilee Golem

Just as the diner
Sat down at the table
After a brief visit
To the toilet
For a minor adjustment
Of his snagging pants
A small rip
In the fabric of space
Opened up
Spewing out
A rather sleepy
Yet ultimately dumb looking
Red, White, and Blue
Diamond Jubilee Golem
With a soft splat
The Golem landed
Onto the diners
Succulent salmon
With creamy sauce topping
And
After a brief internal yawn
That caused stomach rumblings
And a brief expulsion of gas
The Red, White, and Blue
Diamond Jubilee Golem
Slowly closed
His tired eyes
Leaving the hungry diner
To watch open mouthed
As his food
Slowly
Turned
Cold


For more Golem adventures, comic strips, abstract artwork, only a handful of people exist, how the stars relax, music by The Harridans, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your ankles to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Image by Arnie Canoe

Written by Arnie Canoe

Collage: Free Time Must Be Used Productively

Collecting dust in a rain cap
Without Archibald crouching shadows
Smiling like an orange Nuclear flower
Entering silver goblets carefully
Brazen whip cracks tidy
Living in a bucket lonely
If only the cryptic bunnies could dance
Wet squelching feet
Rome red polished door
Solid green laughter
Watching the tartan bombay numb squad
Amidst metal tins and psychedelic bins
Play with transistor lottery nests
Molten beats drip
Rectangular chocolate eye flutters
As time floats past
Astride bronze chariot wheelbarrow
Our time so free
We must use it wisely
Our time so free
With a productive conductor
Of elemental traffic cone mountains
Transmitting
Intermittently
Free time
Must be used
Productively


The above collage is 100cms x 70cms, and the cut-up words that accompany it were very kindly constructed yet again by Spartacus Mole.

All of the INK House Studios artwork can be found by visiting our website and clicking on the deviant art link.

For more abstract collage artwork, cut-up literature, surreal short stories, magazines, comic strips, music by The Harridans, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your elbows to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Abstract collage by Heston Quiff

Cut-up words by Spartacus Mole

Walking Labia Part 2: Meg Ryan

Are you interested in having bionic legs?

Here we have a perfect example of a patient straight from the corridors of the Baron Frankenstein school of plastic surgery with a 'trout pout' that looks more like a labia than a mouth.

'Meg Ryan' along with many other actors, and actresses have succumbed to the notion that by having grotesque plastic surgery, lips the size of rubber rings, and other surgical procedures such as the 'Cranial twizzle', and a recently developed technique called the 'Non-surgical chin slap', that they are prolonging their careers for an infinite number of years. This is clearly nonsense.

The movie industry as well as the music industry, only has a need for a mind controlled slave that will mindlessly promote, advertise, and take part in the Illuminated Industries sinister agenda without question. These Illuminated individuals could not give a rats cock what moronic vegetables like 'Meg Ryan' look like so long as they serve their masters.

So what next for people like 'Meg Ryan'?

What if the newly promoted Illuminated accessory for all the fake plasticated mind slaves in Hollywood was to have false legs? No need for airbrushing photos. No more cellulite. No more fat. The false legs could be bionic making jumping through dense thorny hedges, and over really tall brick walls a walk in the park. All that would be required would be the removal of your own legs, and $100'000 of your Corporate shill money for a set of bionic legs, and a month in the Baron Frankenstein school of plastic surgery. Then the work would just roll in like never before...unless the Illuminated Industry decide you are past your sell by date that is.


For more savage celebrity satire, ludicrous political humour, walking labia, music by The Harridans, assorted artwork, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your thigh's to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Written by Roland Barnacle






 

The Graffiti Golems

As the Graffiti artist
Slowly crouched down
To apply the final touch
Of crimson red
Spray paint
To his beautiful
Piece of artwork
From nowhere
And in a flash of light
Appeared three goggle eyed
Dumb struck
Golems
And before the Graffiti artist
Was able to stop himself
He applied a crimson red
Streak of spray paint
Right across the faces
And smack bang in the eyes
Of the three
Gormless
Golems
Who were now red faced
Red eyed
And still oblivious
To where on Earth
They actually
Were


For more Golem artwork and adventures, surreal short stories, poetry, prose, savage celebrity satire, magazines, assorted artwork, music by The Harridans, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your knuckles to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Artwork and story by Arnie Canoe

Collage: You Have Time

Artificial fragments combust
Two coins rusty till burnt orange
A scattering of audible applause
Individual hand cuffs for the dejected
Thinking with pink visions
Steel door closes in a flash
Clanking with buckets crashing
Into a ceramic pond
Littered with frozen fish
Caught in suspended animation
Looking for a clean breath
Not dust bound
Without sky mites crawling
Over damp naked
Bodies of last years stories
And yet it still remains
In Country cold splintered
That with knee bones knocking
And finger nails chewed red
We still have time
To flatten our egos
With a loose tear in thimble
And a virtual mind no barricades
Remembering without fear
Or haunting cloaked figurines
That we will always
Have  
Time


The above collage is 100cms x 100cms.

Many thanks to Spartacus Mole for very kindly putting together the cut-up words that go together with the above abstract collage.

All artwork is available to buy from deviant art, and this link can be found via our website.


For more artwork, abstract paintings, collage, comic strips, cut-up writing, surreal short stories, political satire, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your body hair to an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Abstract collage by Heston Quiff

Cut-up words by Spartacus Mole

Thoughts on Chemtrails

Chemtrails - On display but they do not exist

Back in the 1980s and 1990s when I was a mere child, the skies were blue in the summer and grey in the winter. The clouds were natural formations, and the contrails from the aeroplanes dissipated quickly, leaving no lasting trail to smudge the skies.

Now the skies are continuously besmirched with some form of contrail only seen from the late 1990s onwards. But these are not contrails. They are chemtrails and the government and ordinary people do not believe they exist. Ask the governments of the world and they will tell you that these are just contrails. If you believe that they are chemtrails then you are a kook, a conspiracy nut. Just like everything that hits a truth, there is specific types of propaganda relating to it.

With 'chemtrails' there is the official government and mainstream science line, which states that chemtrails do not exist, they are just contrails from aeroplanes. Conversely the dissenting voice from the kooks is that chemtrails do exist but they can be destroyed by praying to the air sylphs; elemental, etheric beings, identified by the ancient Greeks. Thus a dichotomy is installed in place to deal with the issue of chemtrails: either you believe the rational line of the government and scientists or you join the ranks of the absurd by believing in sylphs and fairies and all sorts of nonsense.
Unfortunately for the ruling elite this dichotomy will only fool the mentally impaired or the incredibly obedient. The thinking public will question and see the truth of the matter.

Chemtrails are known as Stratospheric Aerosol Geoengineering (S.A.G).

Edward Teller, a scientist who worked on the development of the atom bomb and was co-inventor of the hydrogen bomb, was the first scientist who invented the theory of spraying metallic particles into the upper atmosphere to cool the earth. Teller failed to get funding for his idea, but the US government have decided to take his theory as their own, and have been spraying aluminium, titanium, barium, strontium and sulfur hexafluoride into the atmosphere.

Hughes Aircraft Patent #5,003,186 was issued in 1991 and was called the Stratospheric Welsbach Seeding for Reduction of Global Warming. The idea is to inject a very fine white talcum-like powder of aluminium oxide, barium oxide and other oxides for the stated purpose of reducing Global Warming.

Funnily enough, for something that does not officially exist, Republican Dennis Kucinich made reference to 'chemtrails' in the 'Space Preservation Act of 2001' (HR 2977), when he called for the elimination of exotic weaponry from space including weather-modifying weapons such as chemtrails.

In February 2010, geo-engineering scientists from around the world met in San Diego to discuss creating an aluminium shield around the planet, and began dumping yearly 10 to 20 megatons of aluminium oxide into our skies and upper atmosphere. The official reason is to combat so-called 'Global Warming'. As there is no such thing as man-made global warming, this is not the real reason behind SAG.

Dangerous levels of aluminium and barium are found in water and soil samples world wide. As a result respiratory and neurological illnesses have risen dramatically. Aluminium exposure is linked to neurological diseases. The long term effect is to destroy the immune system by making the population more vulnerable to disease and critical / chronic illnesses.

According to NASA global dimming is now occurring, whereby the aerosols sprayed into the sky have created clouds to form a sky shield that reduces sunlight.

This in turn negatively affects the crops and forests by reducing the amount of sunlight required for photosynthesis, thus reducing crop production. This has weakened the trees and plants due to the increased vulnerability to fungus and pests. Aluminium is also detrimental to soil, changing the PH levels.

According to the National Centre for Atmospheric Research, to form artifical clouds in warm dry air is to introduce enough particulates into the atmosphere to attract and accrete all available moisture into visible vapour. This can lead to drought.

It is the goal of the US military in true arrogant style, to 'own the weather' by 2025.
As stated in a research paper of April 1996: 'One advantage of using simulated weather to achieve a desired efect is that unlike other approaches, it makes what are otherwise the results of deliberate actions appear to be the consequences of natural weather phenomena. In addition , it is potentially relatively inexpensive to do.'

Weather is big business. It is even being traded on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange as weather derivatives since 1997.

This is one of the main reasons why 'chemtrails' are being seen all over the world, polluting our skies. The fact that so few people have even noticed, let alone protested about this, shows the low level of consciousness and elementary ability to pay attention to detail. This is something that is going on in the very skies under which we live. All you need to do is look up and you will see aeroplanes spraying their toxic junk into the stratosphere. Normally, several aeroplanes spray at the same time causing criss cross 'chemtrails' that spread out over the entire sky.

This is the visual evidence that this is happening.

In the past the British government sprayed the population of Wiltshire with sarin gas. Many other 'free world' governments have tested biowarfare weaponry on their own populations. This is because we as a collective do not matter to them. Their goal is completely separate to ours.

Imagine you are a very rich man living in a big mansion with the finest foods, luxuries, everything you could ever dream of and more. Then imagine that outside the walls of your complex are the poorest people on earth, starving but growing in population on a daily basis. The last thing you want is for the mass of people outside to realise you own everything that they could ever dream of and that they can take this from you due to their larger numbers than you.

If you start shooting them like dogs you will lose, because an overt war will be on and there are more of them than you, and they are humans, so very good predators.

So you need a covert war against the population. You need to thin them out, keep the under control, by any means necessary, but it has to look like you are not doing anything to them. The weather is the best way of doing this. If you can control the weather to cause droughts and then famines, you have a very powerful weapon that can never be proven to relate to you. You can cause tsunamis, tornadoes, hurricanes, typhoons and more 'natural' weather occurrences that can inflict a lot of damage on the population. Then you can bet on the weather that you control and you can never lose.

'Chemtrails' are a part of this covert war on the population. HAARP is linked to this operation, but more about that another time...

By Raygun

How The Stars Relax Part 20: Des O'Connor



I love whistling inane tunes

Des o'connor, cryogenically frozen mahogany sideboard, and whistler of innane tunes, likes to relax by getting pissed up on cooking sherry and racing around his garden using his very own NASA designed Jetpack.


For more how the stars relax, celebrity binman, monthly piece of shit, only a handful of people exist, odd one out, political satire, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your armpits to an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Written by Roland Barnacle

FRAUD: Lady GaGa

Puppet of the illuminated record industry 'Lady GaGa' is seen here with what looks like a halo behind her MK ULTRA blasted mind. Her vacuous expression which is an attempt to look serene, just ends up looking like an oxygen starved halibut that has just flapped onto dry land.

Lady GaGa's stage act, videos, songs, and public appearances are riddled with symbolism, and ritualistic elements of the Illuminati. Her outrageous costumes very often show that what we are dealing with here is somebody who is clearly a shell manipulated into dancing to somebody else's tune altogether whether she likes it or not.

FRAUD, sums up not only this lobotomised freak, but also the fake and superficial illuminated record industry that has perverted all that was once great about music, and turned it into nothing more than a freakshow for the talentless.


For more surreal short stories, music by The Harridans, only a handful of people exist, walking corporate billboards, magazines, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your toe nails to an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Image by Arnie Canoe

Written by Roland Barnacle

Harry The Harridan And The Jellybean Rainstorm

In preparation for going outside
Into the rain
And torrential hailstorm
Which incidentally
Sounded like a drum solo
On the tin roof
Of his shed
Harry the Harridan
Put on his favourite
Bright Yellow
Waterproof coat
And matching face mask
Opened the door
Of his rather dilapidated
And unstable shed
Stepped outside
And stopped dead
In his tracks
Realising in an instant
That it was not rain
Or a torrential hailstorm
That was causing
Drum solo type noises
On his tin roof
It was in fact
A torrential downpour
Of Millions
And millions
Of multi-coloured
Jellybeans
Harry looked on bemused
Paused for a few brief seconds
Looked skywards
Opened his mouth
And spent
The next ten minutes
Filling his greedy mouth
With the torrential
Downpour
Of Jellybeans


For more surreal short stories, magazines, comic strips, collage artwork, abstract paintings, political satire, how the stars relax, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your left ventricle to an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Image by Arnie Canoe

Written by Tommy Dandruff

Collage: That Employee Will Not Be Discussing It

Here we have a collage that clearly shows the Stormtrooper style fascist approach that the Tory led Government, driven by the devious illuminated hidden hands within Whitehall, want to implement through the new proposed changes to employment law that would see employers given a free hand to get rid of any employee without question.

This complete disregard for the working class is clear for all to see, and would result in an almost tyrannical running of companies that would render the working classes even more powerless than before.

The Bilderberg Bitch 'Thatcher' destroyed the unions leaving workers high and dry and at the mercy of many of the nepotistic, greed filled, power hungry, and sociopathic control freaks that run many of the companies in existence today.

Everything up to this point is systematic in trying to silence, and keep down the working classes.

Why you may ask?

The answer is simple.

The working class are the majority, and majority rules.

This means that we, the working class have the power, and not the sinister grey suited reptoids that skulk and slither the corridors of power plagued by paranoid delusions of grandeur, fuelled by grotesque greed filled thoughts, and driven by a God like complex of hideous proportions.

Time for us all to finally wake up.


For more abstract collage artwork, magazines, savage celebrity satire, political dismantlings, comic strips, surreal short stories, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and dive into an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Collage artwork by Heston Quiff

Written by Roland Barnacle

Abstract Collage: Sweet And Slow Voyeur

Here we have the second abstract collage that goes with the first piece of collage artwork called 'Darkest Tender'.

Both were created using the same materials and processes, and both are 100 cms x 70 cms. However where as the first collage 'Darkest Tender' is about the slightly darker side of eroticism, this piece called 'Sweet and Slow Voyeur', is about viewing the unattainable images in ones fantasies and dreams from a distance.

Although similar in style when seen together, the two pieces of collage artwork have a very different feel about them on closer inspection.

Both pieces of artwork are available via the deviant art link on our website.


For more abstract collage artwork, abstract paintings, cut-up writings, magazines, music by The Harridans, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your lower intestine to an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Collage artwork by Heston Quiff.

Abstract Collage: Darkest Tender

This collage has been created using a mix of acrylic paints, ink, spray paints, and a collection of different magazines of varying texture.

The collage is called 'Darkest Tender', the dimensions are 100 cms x 70 cms, and the piece is about sexual yearning, isolation, eroticism, and the darker side of sexual practises.

Another collage has been created to go alongside the above image, and both of these are available via the deviant art link on our website.

The second collage that goes with this piece will be posted shortly for those of you who are interested. For those of you that are not interested just close your eyes, count to ten, and I am sure it will just go away by the time you look again.


For more collage artwork, abstract paintings, comic strips, poetry, prose, cut-up writings, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and dive into an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Collage artwork by Heston Quiff

Symbols of the Unconscious 3: The Torch

An Eternal Flame

The symbol of the torch or the flame, is in the consciousness again with the Olympics taking place in London. But what exactly does the flame symbolise?

It can be seen as representing the possession of knowledge, the illumination of the person who holds the torch. We go back in time to the myth of Prometheus who handed humanity the knowledge of creating fire. The torch represents that knowledge.

After John F Kennedy was assassinated, an obelisk with a flame on top was erected on the Dealey Plaza. At Arlington Cemetery, over Kennedy's grave, an eternal flame was lit, which still burns to this day.

After Princess Diana was assassinated, a golden flame was erected over the Pont de L'Alma tunnel where she died.

At ground zero of the World Trade Centre after the mass murder of 9/11 took place, an 'eternal flame' was lit.

In Rockefeller Center, the Rockefellers erected a huge golden statue of Prometheus holding the lit torch. This symbol is found on the DIA seal, Indiana's seal, the American dime, CBN, the National Front, and more.

The Statue of Liberty has Queen Semiramis or Isis depending upon your taste, holding aloft the torch. This same symbol is the Columbia pictures and records logo.

Some people consider this to be symbolic of Lucifer, the light bearer or light bringer. They then go into a funk of apoplexy, foaming at the mouth about brimstone and hellfire, and the devil and satan and so on. But to listen to these Christians and be suckered into their phony morality, is to close our eyes to what is happening. There is no dichotomy between Christians and Satanists. Why? Because Christianity is a slave religion made by the same people who are the so-called Satanists.

A false dichotomy was created over the course of history in order to victimise the peasant masses and force them to accept Catholicism and to bow down to their superiors. It was designed to destroy their pagan roots for the very reason that the Church wanted to have absolute control over the population: mentally, spiritually and physically. Much in the same way the current ruling elite are trying to do this now by pushing for a microchipped and barcoded population. Because such technology was not at their disposal in the past, they needed to create a climate of fear, one that sank deep into the psyche of the common man, so he would even censor his thoughts. If you can't even think about rebelling then you are never going to rebel. That was the purpose then and is now.

So the concept of Lucifer was in reality taken from the pagan religion of the masses and perverted by the Catholic Church. Rather than being the bringer of light, which is a good thing, Lucifer became an evil figure opposed to God. Lucifer was Satan, the arrogant creature, the fallen angel, expelled from heaven.

Considering that Lucifer is said to stand for knowledge, then the lesson is quite clear: the masses must not seek intelligence, or the facts, because these are now evil and heretical. The ignorant masses must just 'believe' and have 'faith'. The fairy tale of the tree of knowledge is linked to this anti-intelligence pushed by the Catholic Church: Adam and Eve fell from grace because they questioned 'God's' will and became intelligent and capable of thinking from themselves.

When you look at it, the whole concept of Catholicism and all brands of Christianity are purely the manner in which the ruling class over the centuries strove to justify their oppression of the masses and also to control any dissent. The more stupid and more suggestible a person is makes it far easier for a ruling elite to control that person's impulses. If you have your own mind, your own spirituality, your own capacity for logic and action, you are a threat to the ruling elite.

The flame symbolises the ruling elite's intelligence and knowledge, at the expense of the unenlightened masses. They have made it this way. They have perverted the religions of the masses. They have perverted the myths of humanity. Instead of being knowledge for everyone, they have murdered, maimed, pillaged and raped their way through history, suppressing this knowledge, and keeping it locked away for themselves. It is a sickly self-indulgence going on for far, far, far too long.

When they place their eternal flame and torch symbols everywhere, they are saying to you: 'Behold our intelligence! You are so stupid you do not even realise! More to the point you are too stupid to ever realise!' It is a shout of triumph. It is the glorying in your supreme ignorance.

To place the eternal flames over President Kennedy's grave and Princess Diana's death spot, is for the ruling elite to say: 'Their deaths were orchestrated by us.' The symbol is of their own illumination against our darkness.

By turning Lucifer, the light bearer, the illuminated one, into a so-called enemy of humanity, into an evil one, is their greatest triumph. Because, by doing so has made intelligent, but God-fearing people, shy away from seeking the truth, the light of illumination.

Think about it: the ruling elite see themselves as enlightened, illuminated. Why do we not strive to become enlightened and illuminated? Why are we satisfied to be kept in the dark? Why are we not pushing for the truth for all of humanity?

Because the symbol is so deeply ingrained in our psyches.

Lucifer is symbolic of intelligence. It is not an evil creature, it is not this fraudulent creation of the Catholic Church, known as the 'devil'. The pagan god Pan is what the Catholic Church saw as their enemy because it was the people's god and they did not believe in the myth of Christ and the desert God 'Yahweh'. Therefore, the Church warped Pan into the 'devil', the anti-christ, the scourge of all humanity. This was done in a typical, over the top manner by the power-obsessed Church hierarchy.
The illuminati revered 'Lucifer' and the anti-new world order protesters start channeling their thoughts into Christianity. They are of course wrong. Lucifer just stands for knowledge, it is symbolic of the thirst for knowledge and their is nothing 'evil' about searching for knowledge. It is bringing things to light. The light of the world. To be informed is a good thing because it means you can make your own choices and you can reject the ruling class. If you want.

That is what the symbol of the eternal flame and the torch is really about. Until you search you will not find.

Thoughts on Depopulation



Depopulation the Easy Way

There is a lot spoken about in certain circles concerning the ruling elite's distasteful genocidal policy against the poor of the world. One of the rumours circulating is that there are just too many people now on planet Earth. In true Malthusian style, the rulers of the world proliferate the lie that the population of the planet will expand exponentially and hence outstrip resources, leaving an unstable world of war over food.

The Malthusians have always been wrong but their theory is always entertained by the decadent ruling class for several reasons, the main one being that the rulers are scared of a huge, uncontrollable populace running riot and taking back what is theirs. It is this fear that causes the ruling elite to take aim at the lower orders with their arsenal of weaponry and propaganda; anything to distract, divide and dissolve their threat.

By culling the population down to a manageable 500 million people will apparently allow complete control...

Well, the Black Death of 1348-49 did a similar thing: it destroyed a third of the population of Europe. However, rather than creating a malleable gaggle of peasants it served to increase the wages of the poor, because the demand for labourers outstripped supply. This is the paradox of the truly rich rulers of the world: if they do succeed and wipe out 60% of the population, the labour supply will decrease substantially and cause demand to outstrip supply. When this happens the power will shift from the obese overlords to the working class, who will be eager to impose their will upon their oppressors.

We are living in similar times to the middle ages when so many people are starving to death, whilst others live in luxury. In the past the almoner would give alms to the poor. Now the almoner would be the charity organisations trying to feed the hungry.

In the past, it would be religion forced upon the masses in order to divert their attentions from fighting against their oppressors. Now it is the mass media and entertainment system that does the job. Mainstream science has become a dogma that cannot be questioned. Mainstream scientists have become the friars, the priests, and the bishops of their own religion. Outsiders are not allowed to challenge the faith. Dissenters are not burnt at the stake, but they are laughed at as kooks. Look at the treatment meted out to Nicola Tesla or the disgraceful castration against Alan Turing. The lord God is Capital. It is this unreal entity that makes the men of science weak at the knees. Anything to further the reign of Capital.

Intellectual prostitution has existed throughout the ages, and whilst the enlightened discussed what those with the wealth wanted them to discuss, the unenlightened masses were victimised if they were too weak to fight back against the state.

The current Tory parliament would masturbate with glee if they had a chance at resurrecting the law of 1536 in England. Vagabonds were whipped for their first offence of vagrancy. For a second offence of vagrancy they had part of their right ear cut off . For a third and final offence they were hanged. A decade later this savage and barbaric law was changed. Instead, anyone who roamed or loitered for three days without a job had to work for any employer for any wages he was willing to pay. If nobody would employ him then he must offer to work just for food and drink. If he did not do this then anyone could take him to the Justice of the Peace (local magistrate). The vagabond was then made that person's slave for 2 years. If he ran away during that time he was branded and made a slave for life. Ah, Mr Hague I can hear you salivating at the thought of bringing back such barbaric laws!

You despise the poor, yet the majorityof the population are poor. So you despise the majority of your own species. How enlightened! What is your end goal Mr Hague, Mr Cameron, Mr Rothschild, Mr Rockefeller, HRH Elizabeth II? Self-preservation at everyone else's expense? A self-indulgence most disgusting.

Do you really want to destroy the majority of the population just so you can have total control over your own kind? Why is absolute dictatorship a goal in itself when it can never bring progress? Only freedom of expression and freedom from limitation can bring about any form of enlightenment or progress for humanity.

By Raygun

Soulless Without Make-Up 2: Selena Gomez



Soulless #14111 'Selena Gomez': With Make-Up

Soulless #14111 'Selena Gomez': Without Make-Up

Here we take a brief look at the stars without their makeup. Today we have the empty-headed, sickeningly sweet, Justin Bieber-fucking, Disney mind slave, Selena Gomez, more-money-than-you, scrambling frantically to throw herself in front of white America's corporate salami sandwich filler.

Gomez definitely looks better without her make-up. Closer to the core of her eternally damned being. If you look closely you can see the souls of her dead ancestors peering through the holes in her own vacant image.

For more I would kindly suggest you make your way over to the INK website and subscribe you worthless mortal worms: www.instantnowhere.moonfruit.com

By the Dark Alma Mater

The Robopathic Popularity Contest 1: Willow Smith



The Robopathic's Goddess

Working through the sticky web of the internet we find that instead of raising the consciousness of humanity, social networking acts to destroy the mind. Rather than being used as a tool for the good of humanity, the internet is being used as a control device, in a similar manner in which TV was eventually utilised.
It is with this in mind that we look at the most popular people searched for on Google. Rather than looking up revolutionaries, scientists, geniuses and people who have aided humanity, the search results yield a highly depressing conclusion: only the most vacuous, soulless, creatures of celebrity are of interest to the mass of humanity.

Following on from the Theory of Positive Disintegration (TPD) by Kazimierz Dąbrowski, dear old Ludwig von Bertalanffy proposed the idea that a great proportion of humanity are in fact 'robopaths'. People who are negatively integrated into the society in which they live. People who just follow generic and pre-conceived notions of existence. 'I cry at funerals, and laugh at weddings, because that is what everyone does.'

So today's winner of the robopathic popularity contest is the hideously malformed, fame accident, Willow Smith. Inheriting the looks of her inane father Willard Christopher 'Will' Smith Jr, this poor experiment was born into the world on 31st October 2000, Halloween. Despite the love of ritual and ceremony of the ruling elite and their movie slime lords such as Smith, to believe that this little diabolical creature was deliberately induced into the world on the day of the dead is too much for some people. 'Pah, it's just a coincidence.' Of course...

Unfortunately, though this sacrificial offering to the Illuminati overlords has been happily received. In true time-honoured fashion, this golem-like creation has been inflicted upon the world and her fame has obliterated everyone else in the universe.

The thinly concealed sado-masochistic lyrics of her single: 'whip my hair' is a perfect hymn to the dark lords and the cannibal god Moloch. For a 10-year old girl to be singing lines like these is a masturbation fashion of the cold dead rulers of this sick and twisted world: 'I whip my hair back and forth / I whip my hair back and forth / Just whip it' over and over again and 'Hop out the bed, turn my swag on / pay no attention to them haters cause we whip 'em off / and we ain't doing nothin' wrong / so don't tell me nothing I'm just tryna have fun / so keep the party jumping..'

As the dirge plays on, the poor lost souls of the robopaths clap their trotters together and pray to their new found satanic goddess Willow Smith and give their brains to an anti-intelligence trust for un-safe keeping.

Here is the spell, the lines written by the Illuminati song-smiths telling you how they will use their latest puppet of mainstream music:

"I feel like I can take over the world
If only I can get my dreams out
Pull gold from my soul, diamonds from my heart
It's that new girl thinking and this song is just the start"

by The Dark Alma Mater

The Apes Have Evolved

The year is 3978 AD.

The post apocalyptic wasteland that is Earth has endured a reversal of fortune for the two dominant species that exist on Earth: Man and Ape.

Where as once Man was the dominant species, now it is the great Ape that is the dominant of the two species.

However, as the years have passed, with Earth slowly evolving, and recovering to a more lush state, so to the great Apes have slowly evolved, adapting and changing their natural primal behaviour, to something far more serene.

And so it is that the great Apes have now warmed to the wearing of tight leather clothing, and corset like body armour caressing every muscle and sinew.

Riding Horses at a frightening pace to scare and round up the humans has been replaced with slow, leisurely jaunts through the woods and streams, taking humans on days out using flamboyant wagon trains pulled by their well groomed stallions.

Gone are the savage beatings of Man, and staggering uncontrollable rages, being replaced by tree top banana parties, desert bowls competitions, canyon yodelling, tree planting and flower cultivating, and also woodland fashion shoots.

The savage great Apes have evolved.

Evolved into a far more gentile form of Ape. 

Creating a idyllic Utopia for all of Gods creatures including Man.

Welcome

To Planet of the Gaypes.


For more of Planet of the Gaypes, humorous parodies, ludicrous short stories, savage celebrity satire, abstract collage artwork, cut-up writing, music, and much more visit wow.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your earlobes to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Written by Tommy Dandruff

Artwork by Arnie Canoe








    

Who Do You Choose?

The dog in the above picture is called 'Bovril' and he is wearing a tailored suit from savile row. He is dapper and well groomed, and a very healthy looking dog indeed

Mr Virgil Branflake is also well groomed, healthy, suitably suited, and dapper.

However one of these two individuals needs to be put down as there is only enough money for one of them to survive in the care home they belong to due to Government cut backs, and fake economic reform amidst a manufactured recession.

The choice is a tough one to make.

Who do you choose?

The well groomed, and healthy dog named 'Bovril' wearing a dapper suit?

Or the healthy, well groomed man called Mr Virgil Branflake, also wearing a dapper suit?

Answers on a postcard...


For more ludicrous celebrity satire, news just in, odd one out, how the stars relax, magazines, music, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your eyeballs to an Instant Nowhere Kultural Universe.


Collage artwork by Arnie Canoe

Written by Arnie Canoe

'Odd One Out' part 3: The Bilderberg Bitch and Captain Arse Lick

The Bilderberg Bitch and Captain Arse Lick

So here we are in the month of May ready for another game of 'Odd One Out'.

The rules are quite simple, all you have to do is guess which one of the above two mind fucks are the 'Odd One Out'.

On the left we have one of the most vile creatures ever to slither along the surface of this beautiful Earth. A monster so hideous and cold hearted that generations of decent, honest, hard working individuals have had their lives ruined by this gigantic Bilderberg Bitch Globalist puppet turd to help further their foul Globalist agenda.

And on the right we have easily one of the most nauseating walking testicles to ever roll along the floor of this wonderful planet Earth. A shit bomb so ghastly that the mere thought of carpet bombing innocent civilians in manufactured global conflicts for his Globalist puppet masters, is enough to make Captain Arse Lick dream longingly of his Bilderberg Bitch mentor during long private moments shut away in darkened closets. 

So there you have it.

Not that difficult is it really.


For more 'Odd One Out', how the stars relax, only a handful of people exist, the baron Frankenstein school of plastic surgery, comic strips, music, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your knee caps to an Instant Nowhere Alternative Universe.


Written by Arnie Canoe