Hangman and the Gimp

Kneel down to your Master

This drawing was conceived very late one evening after a long day at work with my flattened nose firmly pressing against the grindstone.

I thing it reflects my state of mind at the time of one being restricted, choked, and controlled by individuals who were, and still are incapable of tying their own shoe laces up.

Things are very different in my life now for the better, but this image is still a stark reminder of how work made me feel a few years ago now.


By Charlie Cornflake

Terror for Free

Mind if we come in luv

This collage was intended to be a poster for a gig by an experimental band called 'The Harridans'.

The gig never happened and as a result it has remained in one of my many art folders for some time now.

Black and White photography has always interested me far more than colour, so to see an image such as the SAS storming the Iranian embassy, as a Black and White photograph as opposed to colour, for me gives it much more of a menacing characteristic.

The 'Terror for Free' slogan not only referred to the content of the image but the fact that the gig that the poster was created for would have also been for free if it had gone ahead.


By Arnie Canoe 

Angela's new mouth

I love my brand new mouth

Angela raced through the poorly lit streets.

The damp air made Angela's hair hang limp and bedraggled like an old bundle of rope from off the back of some fish stinking Trawler that had recently been sent to a watery grave for crimes against fish and crabs.

Her pea green jumper clung to her curvaceous body like a piece of clingfilm around what looked like a tortured looking photograph of Angela in 'That pose' she likes to be in on weekends with her masked friends.

In the distance Angela's eyes were firmly fixed on the pale silhouette of a street busker clanking some old rusty soup spoons to the tune of 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' which was playing in a rather faint manner on a rather decrepit looking cassette player next to the buskers feet.

As Angela approached the street busker it was clear to see that over her sweet mouth was what looked like a cut-out from a magazine of somebody Else's mouth. The newly attached mouth was stuck to Angela's face using a pritstick, and had what looked like horizontal lines across the original image making Angela's mouth look like it was in some kind of sideways prison.

A taxi hurtled past Angela just missing her by a split second as she marched over the road and straight up to the street busker who was still playing his rusty old soup spoons to the almost inaudible tune of 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'.

As she stared, eyes wide and glaring, almost possessed and vaguely demonic in their appearance, the street busker finished playing, looked up at Angela's face sporting a brand new cut-out mouth and said:

"Oh hello Angela darling, is it time for me to come home now"

"MMMFFMMF" Angela replied to her father

There was a brief awkward silence

"Is that a cut-out of somebody Else's mouth stuck over your own Angela" her father asked curiously

There was yet another awkward silence

Then as if by some kind of telepathic signal the two of them quickly packed up Angela's fathers things, crossed the road without looking, and then proceeded to walk briskly up the dimly lit street, whilst Angela's new mouth gently flapped about in the breeze like a loose piece of papery skin waiting to escape it's new owners face .


Written by Tommy Dandruff

Image by Arnie Canoe

Ideal or not ideal Part 1: Robert Mugabe

I am a Master Baker

Here we have another new game you can take part in from the comfort of your armchair, or if you are unlucky enough from the comfort of your prison cell.

The game is called 'Ideal or not ideal' and requires you to decide weather or not a task, job, or career given to a randomly selected celebrity is 'Ideal' or 'Not ideal' for that specifically chosen person.

This month we see the vile, sweating face of 'Robert Mugabe' as the chosen participant in this first edition of 'ideal or not ideal'.

So for all of you out there here is the job for 'Robert Mugabe' to work in which you must then decide as to weather or not it is 'Ideal' or 'Not ideal' for him.

Are you ready?

'Ideal or not ideal', 'Robert Mugabe' is to be the new Home Economics Teacher at West Runton Secondary School for Girls: 'Ideal or not Ideal'?

Visit INK Ltd's website at www.instantnowhere.com to find out more about 'Ideal or not ideal', along with all other Instant Nowhere Kulture works.


By Roland Barnacle

Rise of the F.U.B.

A fine figure of a Man

This drawing is of a new breed of westernised monster created from the bowels of all that is hideous and ghastly in Western life.

The F.U.B. is an individual whose gluttonous, and morbidly obese physical form, is massively over shadowed by their colossal idiocy, and inherent stupidity due to moronic cabbage patch inbreeding.

The F.U.B. however seems to be deluded into thinking that they are in some way of Superior intellect to most people, and in some way part of some natural evolutionary path or cycle.

Incredibly as it may seem you still find sorry individuals like this in charge of peoples lives when to anybody with eyes, and a small amount of brain power it is quite clear that individuals like 'The F.U.B.' are incapable of not only being able to dress themselves, but of being able to string two words together.

Yet again it is nepotism that allows many of 'The F.U.B'S' to exist and operate as they do within society. Put into place when no other person in their right mind would even touch the sorry sacks of shit with a barge pole.

The F.U.B. is what the Western world want us to become before we turn into Golems.

Stage 1 is the F.U.B.

Stage 2 is the Golem.

We must rise up against this physical and mental destruction of humanity as we know it before it is to late..

                                                                                                              By Charlie Cornflake

The World is too corrupt to end poverty

This image was created as a  poke at the way we are constantly bombarded everyday with imagery specifically designed to distract your mind from the truly important aspects of life.

The slogan 'The World is too corrupt to end poverty' really means 'The Mind is too corruptable to end poverty', because our minds are far too easily distracted by the materialistic and superficial aspects of life, rendering our minds insullar, introverted, self-centered and blind to the true nature of reality, thus distracting us from mankinds true potential towards all of our Brothers and Sisters.

                                                                                                          By Arnie Canoe 

Image from 'Twat' magazine: Issue 2



Nothing to see here

This image is from issue 2 of the magazine 'Twat' and is put together by the artists at INK House Studios, which is a part of 'Instant Nowhere Korporation Ltd'.

The picture is reflecting the restrictions felt by many people of oppresive, fascist, and dictatorial regimes that silence people to such an extent that even when the restrictions are staring at you blue in the face, people still walk past and fail to take notice through either fear, or ignorance.

                                                                                                               By Arnie Canoe

Image from 'Twat' magazine: Issue 1

This picture is taken from the magazine called 'Twat' which is put together by INK House Studio artists Heston Quiff, Charlie Cornflake, Ronnie Raygun, and yours truly Arnie Canoe.

The magazine will be subscription only and is an assortment of obscure imagery, along with very striped down collage pictures, basic drawings and random cut-up text.

'Twat' magazine also has a 'Sister' magazine called 'Tosspot'. This will also be subscription based and is put together by the INK House Studio artists as part of the 'Instant Nowhere Kulture' artistic output team at 'Instant Nowhere Korporation Ltd'.

Where as 'Twat' magazine is more of a striped down affair 'Tosspot' is a more kaleidoscopic, collage based dismantling of banal women's magazines, and lads mags such as 'Loaded', and 'FHM'. It then mixes them together resulting in the psychedelic mish mash that is 'Tosspot'.

Other magazines produced by INK House Studios in conjunction with the 'Instant Nowhere Kulture' team are: Jap's Eye, and Underdog. Both of these will also be available by subscription details of which will be available shortly on our website at www.instantnowhere.com.

As the website subscription is not fully in place yet the INK House Studios artists will be putting excerpts of all the magazines (like the picture above), onto the blogs for you to view for free courtesy of the 'Instant Nowhere Kulture' team at 'Instant Nowhere Korporation Ltd'.

                                                                                                         By Arnie Canoe