Sandra's funny turn



Sandra began to feel odd again

As Sandra walked alongside her odious husband Alan
Down the local high street avoiding the shrivelled dog turds and discarded cigarettes
And past Alan's favourite pie and mash shop
A very familiar feeling started to come over Sandra again
Her body started to twitch and shake
Her eyes became glazed over like a heroin reject 
The tongue in her mouth started to slide towards her dribble covered chin
And as the background scene behind Sandra and Alan
Changed to that of a piece of notepad sized lined paper
Large streaks of coloured pen started to scribble
In a childlike frenzy
Over Sandra's eyes and body
And over the concrete floor which was now replaced by the lined paper
Alan shouted furiously at Sandra as his face was coloured green making him look like a huge septic ballbag
His trousers now sketchy red made him look like an angry tramp
It was all too much for Alan to bare
"What the fucks up with you ya silly bitch" Alan shouted loudly
Sandra staggered gently
Swayed ever so slightly
A huge length of dribble swung from her sopping wet mouth
She turned towards Alan
Opened her slobbering mouth and said "EERRrrr"
Before falling face down
In a puddle of her own spit


Drawing by Charlie Cornflake

Written by Tommy Dandruff

Abstract art squit 16



Abstract 16

Here we have another abstract piece of artwork that was created whilst listening to the experimental band 'The Harridans'.

The track this time was called 'Law is will' and is one of my favourites of all their songs.

From a dynamics point of view the abstract piece of artwork mimics the flashes of rage within the song as well as the carefully spaced changes in tempo and volume.

This time the blood red sections are the vocals as they are filled with venom and rage. The black lines are the drum parts that weave around the vocals in a tight yet jagged fashion. As for the guitar parts these are represented by the pastel coloured lines, as well as the blue streaks weaving throughout.

Again I have used Many different types of pens, colours, markers, and watercolour pencils to create this piece of abstract artwork.


By Heston Quiff

Bella's horrid Birthday cake

Bella was only seconds away from a tantrum

Here we have the morbidly obese, seriously spoilt, and never satisfied brat child Bella on the day of her Birthday.

As per usual the huge cake is not enough for this gluttonous young girls demands, and it is only a matter of time until a severe tantrum ensues in which Bella will not only demolish the cake, but all of her family and friends who are nervously singing "Happy Birthday" in the corner of the room.

All the cakes and toys in the world will never satisfy a grotesque child like Bella.

So what could make this monster child happy?


By Charlie Cornflake

Wild eyed and on a leash

Here we have a rather surreal drawing of a wild eyed old man with his demonic beasts on a leash.

Normally my drawings are nothing like this but I have been working down at INK Studios with Heston Quiff of late, and he suggested an abstract approach but without losing the complete form of my character drawings.

I am pleased with the outcome as you can still see the figure of the wild eyed old man, his walking stick, and even his hat amongst the abstract approach of the image.

The demonic beasts were originally going to have more of a dog like detail, but Heston suggested that leaving these images with a slightly unfamiliar form would give it more of an abstract edge and other worldly feel.


Drawing by Charlie Cornflake.

Inspired by the strange world of Heston Quiff

Abstract art squit

Abstract 14

This abstract piece of artwork was created whilst on holiday in Menorca.

Secluded bays, amazing views, incredible weather, clear blue seas, and friendly atmosphere all end up in this abstract piece of artwork.

Wish I was there now (Snow outside and freezing).

I have used an assortment of coloured pens, markers, and water colour crayons to create this piece of abstract art.


By Heston Quiff

Abstract art squit

Abstract 11

This abstract piece of artwork was inspired by the viewings through a microscope of different types of cells in the human body on a science programme.

The slightly translucent overlaying of cells looked really abstract to me at the time and infinitely complex, yet beautiful in a serene way.

All of the natural flowing movements of the cells made me realise how even the smallest layer of life has grace and value.

I have used water colours mainly as well as some inks, fine line pens, and round nibbed marker pens to help merge the colours together.


By Heston Quiff

Hangman and the Gimp

Kneel down to your Master

This drawing was conceived very late one evening after a long day at work with my flattened nose firmly pressing against the grindstone.

I thing it reflects my state of mind at the time of one being restricted, choked, and controlled by individuals who were, and still are incapable of tying their own shoe laces up.

Things are very different in my life now for the better, but this image is still a stark reminder of how work made me feel a few years ago now.


By Charlie Cornflake

Abstract art squit

Abstract 10

This is one of my favourite abstract images to date, and was created after viewing some of the amazing work created by Kandinsky.

The colours used by Kandinsky are what inspired me more than anything to do this piece of abstract artwork. Of course the brilliance in Kandinsky's work is in many aspects of what he creates, but for some reason it's the mix of colours that draw me in more than anything else.

I would love to be able to paint like Kandinsky, but alas I do not posses the skill necessary to do so. I do however love to mix, layer, and experiment with colour and materials in an abstract way, and hopefully this piece of abstract artwork, directly inspired by Kandinsky's work reflects this approach.

My love for pure expression is what drives me to create. I hope this piece in some way inspires somebody to create in a similar way.


By Heston Quiff

Mungo and the Hare

Mungo and the Hare

This drawing is about trying to tame the untameable beast.

Mungo is impervious to any commands given to him by his handler the Hare.

No matter what is asked of Mungo, no matter what command or instruction is given, the fact remains that all Mungo wants to do is kill.

He like so many of mankind's inherently evil inhabitants only have the desire for destruction, carnage, and the killing of all living things.

How do you keep a leash on an evil state of mind without becoming the aggressors equal?


By Charlie Cornflake

Abstract art squit

Abstract 9

Here we have a piece of abstract art that was created after watching a great documentary on graffiti artists.

This along with 5 other images are abstract interpretations of the wonderful art form that is graffiti.

I have used coloured marker pens of varying thickness, along with fine line pens, and pencils to create this image.

Graffiti is still far too underrated as an art form, and although I am not technically able to create the type of intricate pieces many graffiti artists do, I enjoy the freedom of self expression that is at the heart of many pieces of graffiti.

By Heston Quiff

Abstract art squit

Abstract 5

This abstract piece of artwork was created on a very cold, wet, and downright miserable day late 2011.

It is nothing like any of my other pieces of abstract artwork, and even I was surprised at the coldness that emanates from it.

That said I still really like this abstract piece of artwork as it is such a contrast to all my other pieces, and really does stand out like a sore thumb when it is viewed next to them.

I used Oils and acrylics on 8ft by 4ft hardboard to create this piece, and if you look closely you may even notice a piece of grey cable that I stuck to the image for added colour and texture.

Take a look at the INK Ltd website at www.instantnowhere.com for more info on all my artwork, as well as all the other artists and alternative kulture affiliates work.


By Heston Quiff

Gatecrashing Golem

Golem 4 

Here we have a mindless Golem crashing into the middle of a black and white comic strip.

The Golems stitched up mouth only enables it to make muffled 'Gark' and 'Gronk' noises as it hurtles like a cabbage patch missile through the middle of this scene.

We all know what it is like to have our lives disturbed by thick, unintelligible morons, mindlessly and quite randomly gatecrashing into our everyday lives without a thought for the individuals they are disturbing.

The above image is one that we can all relate to, and will happen even more frequently as the Golems start to spread across the Earth like the worlds dumbest man made virus.


By Arnie Canoe

Colin and the Balloon

Balloon too strong for me

Here we see poor Colin struggling to control the immense pulling power of the balloon.

With his pin thin puny arms and weak state of mind, Colin is unable to gather enough strength to stop him being dragged away to another land.

This drawing is actually a cut out that has been placed onto a piece of plain paper.

'Colin' is a character that crops up in some of my comic strips, and these along with many other artworks, short stories, poetry, magazines, and savage celebrity satire will soon be available to subscribe to on the INK Ltd website: www.instantnowhere.com


By Charlie Cornflake

Abstract art squit

Abstract Art 8

This piece of abstract art was created to try and reflect the intertwining layers of reality and subsequent routes between the many different dimensional layers that exist around, beneath, and in between our 'Nuts and bolts' level of reality that we are told we exist in un-attached to anything else in a kind of 'Molecular solitude'.

The colours I have used are to try and create the feeling of different layers of dimensional light that exist alongside each other, and the darker lines are the more solid routes of light, or pathways of light that connect between individual dimensions.

In a way everything is connected, even though at first it may not be visible, tangible, or in any way clear as to the possible connection. But regardless of the seemingly un-related nature of existence, what is clear is that threading everything together, through the layers of dimensional light and reality, through the physical 'Nuts and bolts' layer of reality we believe to be the only one we are a part of, is an unseen energy that binds us together with an infinite level of energy.

I believe that this infinite level of energy that links us together like an outstretched hand can be summed up in one word: Consciousness.

The greater the level of consciousness, the closer we will move to understanding what it is that makes us what we truly are.

Art of all mediums are about the quest for enlightenment.

When we are enlightened we become far more conscious of not only ourselves and other people, but our surroundings and what our true goals are in life.

When I create abstract pieces of art I feel like I am on an unplanned journey with no clue as to where I am going, or if there actually is an end destination to the journey. In some ways the journey has already been taken. In other ways we have reached the end destination but have failed even to notice.


By Heston Quiff

Private Bullhorn on parade

Late for parade again

This drawing is very old and was drawn whilst very bored at work many moons ago.

The yellow discolouring adds to the drawing in some ways giving it more character and depth.

I really do not know why the character of the 'Sargeant' came out the way he did. It is almost as if his head is like some kind of claw, which is really quite odd, and slightly surreal.

By Charlie Cornflake

Beauty Tips Part 1: Sienna Miller

The scribbling dribbling simpleton

Here we have a great beauty tip for all you women out there who feel that you need that slight edge when you are attempting to attract a male or female companion.

The beauty tip is straight from the highly talented repertoire of actress/model 'Sienna Miller'.

In 'Sienna Miller' you have a woman with all the acting range of a freshly peeled spud, and a modelling portfolio containing images similar in look to that of being dragged through a hedge backwards, whilst wild boars try and gouge your tiny belt hole like eyes out of your pasty, tepid looking face.

So as you can appreciate 'Sienna Miller' is more than qualified for this job at hand.

The name of this look is called 'The scribbling dribbling simpleton', and this is how you can achieve it:

Firstly, using only red and black permanent chubby marker pens, in a childlike fashion the individual must scrawl inanely like a simpleton gone diddle, to accentuate the contours of the face, and thus giving the eyes that stand out quality all women need when they attempt to attract male or female attention. 

Secondly, and most importantly, you must learn how to stare in a longing fashion for hours on end, as this is the key to looking like an extremely empty vessel in need of filling up by either a male or a female. This is best achieved by staring into a mirror, shop window, or even the window of a moving vehicle.

I do hope this beauty tip has been of some help to you, and our gracious thanks amidst stifled laughter go to 'Sienna Miller' for sharing one of her fantastic tried and tested beauty tips.

                                                                                                        By Arnie Canoe

Fat lad and the Witch Doctor

Behold the gluttonous retch of a lad

This drawing is about the fat lad's attempt to cure his morbid obesity using the magical spells of the Witch Doctor.

The idea behind this drawing is to highlight the lengths some people will go to in order to solve a personal issue of which will power is usually all that is needed in the first place.

By Charlie Cornflake

Fat lad and the Birthday cake

The gluttonous youth

This drawing is about the total lack of will power, ability to share and self-control that some individuals have in their lives.

The sweat pouring down the fat puddings face, as well as the saliva dribbling from under his enormous jowls visually shows the immense strain that the gluttonous youth is under as he tries to keep his greedy mitts off the enormous Birthday cake on the table.

There is no way the fat pudding will share the Birthday cake with anyone even though there is more than enough to go around. He wants it all to himself and consequently is a perfect example of how greed rules many individuals on this planet.

                                                                                                        By Charlie Cornflake

Abstract art squit

Abstract 7

Here we have another abstract piece of artwork from the bowels of INK house studios.

The piece was created after spotting some really interesting and random graffiti on a wall in Cairo last summer.

All of the colours had bleached in the searing Egyptian sun giving the piece of graffiti in places a watered down look to it.

There was no form to the piece of graffiti from an academic point of view, but it was clear that in other ways the person who created the piece of graffiti had a great eye for the abstract form.

Either way to find a piece of abstract graffiti on a wall in Cairo was very odd, and also really interesting as it proves that no matter where you are in the world, there will always be somebody creating a piece of art.

The piece of abstract artwork that I have created is again postcard sized, and I have used coloured marker pens mainly, as well as a few coloured fine line pens for depth.

                                                                                                                  By Heston Quiff

Luxury is?

Collage 3

This collage splits the world of luxury into pieces for the pointless, superficial indulgence that it is.

Cemented amongst the fragments of luxury, expense, and name brands are images that show how luxurious lifestyles seem to sit comfortably amongst the poverty of the world without even batting an eye lid.

It is almost as if the super indulgent, self obsessed, Capitalist ideals have rendered the whole world blind to the actual existence of poverty itself.

Capitalism has created a self-centred monster, unable to see the true horror of it's obscene nature and greed filled ways.

                                                                                                              By Heston Quiff