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| Fat Cabs struggles to take the call |
Sweat rolls like warm salty rivers down the gluttonous face of 'Brian Smudge' the Fat Cabs radio operator
Eyes bloodshot and heavy
Like sacks of soil laden spuds
Narrow his eyes like coin slots on an amusement arcade machine
Roll upon roll of blubber wobble like jelly as Brian struggles to reach the Fat Cabs radio which is blaring out on the table
Shaking violently and wheezing like a giant red and pink balloon expelling hot air, Brian desperately tries to raise his colossal arms in a vain attempt to reach the radio's controller
In an almost life and death struggle
Brian's morbidly obese frame shuffles 2 inches towards the table
Sweat and tears mingle
A dark patch the size of small dog appears around his football pitched sized crotch
The radio continues to call out on the table top
Summoning up all of his failing energy
Brian makes one last gigantic effort to reach the radio's controller
But just as his sweat and piss soaked frame lumbers only inches from the controller
The radio falls silent
Leaving poor ole Brian
To make the godforsaken journey
All the way back
Across the room
And into his favourite
Steel reinforced chair
Carefully positioned
Right next to
The cream bun tray
For more instalments of 'Fat Cabs' and other comic strips go to www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe to an Instant Nowhere alternative kulture.
Written by Tommy Dandruff
Drawing by Charlie Cornflake
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