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| I invented the retractable ruler |
Mel Gibson, Ageing sack of racist lung nuggets, and inventor of the retractable ruler, likes to relax by entertaining farmyard animals using the medium of mime.
To view more of INK Ltd's creative output including 'How the stars relax', 'News just in', and many other satirical writings visit our website via www.instantnowhere.moonfruit.com and subscribe to your favourites.
By Roland Barnacle
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