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| My eyes are my best feature |
Arriving at the modelling agency
Stinking of creosote
Cheap hairspray
And pipe tobacco
Gloria marched with a confident swagger up to the reception desk
The waiting models sniggered and rolled their eyes
Until the wafting stench hit them
One of the models retched violently almost losing her pelvis in the process
Gloria leaned over to ask the receptionist if she could go through
Gagging with her manicured hand over her mouth the receptionist waved Gloria through
Gloria marched into the room
Stepped onto the catwalk
And strode up and down like a spasmodic scarecrow
The casting couch were mortified
Their eyes watered copiously
One of the judges threw up their morning muesli into a bowl of fruit
Gloria marched up to them with an air of stench and confidence
The casting couch reeled back in horror
Gloria paused for a moment..
Smiled vacantly with her hands perched delicately on her hips and said confidently "I know, I know what you are thinking" there was a lengthy pause....
"Wha.. What are we err thinking" stammered one of the casting judges looking slightly nervous
Gloria puffed out her chest
Stood up straight
Looked down her nose with a subtle air of arrogance and said "I've got the job, it's quite obvious"
The judges looked bemused
"What makes you think that you have got the job Gloria" enquired one of the judges
Gloria laughed loudly like a helium filled chicken
And said loudly "With fiery new eyes like mine how can you possibly find better"
The judges looked at each other and smiled
"But this is an audition for anti-ageing cream for wrinkly knees Gloria"
There was silence..
Gloria gulped
Smiled in a rather inane manner
Picked her left ear
Then strode out of the building
Wafting her horrendous stench behind her
This short surreal story is part of a bigger collection that are available via subscription on INK Ltd's website at www.instantnowhere.moonfruit.com
Written by Tommy Dandruff
Image by Arnie Canoe
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