Love your Life: CD inlay for The Harridans

Is your life worth whingeing about

The above image is an inlay to a CD by experimental Lo-Fi band The Harridans.

In the foreground you can clearly see the emaciated figures of the prisoners of war as they endure the terrible conditions they find themselves in after their capture.

The background however is a brochure for summer breaks around the country in such places as Cornwall and Devon.

When I put this CD inlay together it was to show two completely opposite sides of reality: The first represents the harsh, hellish side of life that some of us have to endure, and have had to endure, while the other is to many of us representative of heaven as we sun ourselves on golden beaches, yet still finding the time to moan about the price of an ice cream oblivious of the hardships that some individuals have to deal with in their lives.

The Harridans music is about separating the light from the dark, but without diluting, or ignoring the true nature of reality and all contained within it.

The list of songs contained on this CD by The Harridans are as follows:

1: Chilblains, Migraines, Dunblaines
2: Decline
3: Don't forget to defecate on the hymn sheet
4: Ever-Dwindling status of celebrity morons
5: HAARP death ray
6: I am the eye in the sky

For more information on The Harridans music, artwork, and videos go to www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe to an Instant Nowhere Reality.


Collage by Arnie Canoe

Music by The Harridans

Fat Cabs: Part 1

Fat Cabs struggles to take the call

Sweat rolls like warm salty rivers down the gluttonous face of 'Brian Smudge' the Fat Cabs radio operator
Eyes bloodshot and heavy
Like sacks of soil laden spuds
Narrow his eyes like coin slots on an amusement arcade machine
Roll upon roll of blubber wobble like jelly as Brian struggles to reach the Fat Cabs radio which is blaring out on the table
Shaking violently and wheezing like a giant red and pink balloon expelling hot air, Brian desperately tries to raise his colossal arms in a vain attempt to reach the radio's controller
In an almost life and death struggle
Brian's morbidly obese frame shuffles 2 inches towards the table
Sweat and tears mingle
A dark patch the size of small dog appears around his football pitched sized crotch 
The radio continues to call out on the table top
Summoning up all of his failing energy
Brian makes one last gigantic effort to reach the radio's controller
But just as his sweat and piss soaked frame lumbers only inches from the controller
The radio falls silent
Leaving poor ole Brian
To make the godforsaken journey
All the way back
Across the room
And into his favourite
Steel reinforced chair
Carefully positioned
Right next to
The cream bun tray


For more instalments of 'Fat Cabs' and other comic strips go to www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe to an Instant Nowhere alternative kulture.


Written by Tommy Dandruff

Drawing by Charlie Cornflake

Abstract art squit 18

Abstract 18

This abstract image is a more minimal approach to some of my other pieces of work, but I have chosen to use very thick lines of paint along with larger bodies of paint blending together to create more balance to the eye.

I have used acrylics for this piece and decided to keep the colours basic and without any mixing to alter the tones.

The colours of red, white, and black are very primal, where as the green represents a very natural earthy blend to the mix.

All of my abstract artwork can be viewed on INK Ltd's website, along with comic strips, magazines, collage imagery, videos, music, and much more.

To view all of INK Ltd's alternative kultural output, along with all links to blogs, music, and literature go to www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe to an Instant Nowhere Universe.


By Heston Quiff

Royal Mutations: Part 1

The Hereditary inbreds striking a pose



Here we have a wonderful Royal portrait just in time for the Queen reptoids Diamond Jubilee celebrations.

As you can see from this image though the Royals have been caught whilst shifting from one form to another, and unfortunately the result is a rather Royal mutated mix up.

Such a shame this rather awkward mutation has happened at such a perfect moment, and what is even worse is the fact there is the very high probability that this will happen again as this is part one of a new Instant Nowhere Kulture segment entitled 'Royal Mutations'.

For more scathing dissections of the Royal reptoids, reptilian updates, reptilian diary, surreal short stories, celebrity mockings, and a whole world of alternative Kulture go to www.instantnowhere.com for a slice of an Instant Nowhere Universe.


Written by Hector the Mute

Image by Arnie Canoe

The pursuit of a new personality

Who do you want to be in life?

Here we have an old collage from the early nineties which was part of an exhibition that I held to show off my collage artwork.

The exhibition was held at my local library for a week and involved yours truly being subjected to a vast array of odd individuals passing through the library, and leaving incomprehensible comments in my comment book, along with faint odours of urine, hot sausage rolls, cold coffee, and Murray mints.

In hindsight it may have been an idea to construct some form of cordon to at least protect me from the flashes of insanity coming from the people viewing my work, but to be honest the whole experience was simply that, an experience, and I wouldn't change it for the world...although it would have been nice to actually sell something even if it was to somebody who smelt of cold coffee and piss!

As for the collage it is about the pursuit of a new identity, or new personality that is different from the one we exist as for most of our lives. Some people are happy with who they are, where as some people strive to become someone, or something else altogether.


For all artwork, magazines, music, comic strips, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe to an instant nowhere kulture.


By Heston Quiff

Abstract art squit 12

Abstract 12

Here we have an abstract image that is available along with all of my other work on INK Ltd's website at www.instantnowhere.com and via our Deviant Art page which can be also found on INK Ltd's website.

The abstract image above was created using watercolours, marker pens, pencils, fine line pens, and coloured crayons.

My inspiration for the above abstract image was again from the graffiti artists of New York, and specifically the Hip Hop scene from the late eighties.

The above image is available in many different sizes, and is also available as stickers, magnets, and many other mediums including canvases.

For information on all artwork, comic strips, music, magazines, and all alternative Kultural leanings contact www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe to an instant nowhere universe.


By Heston Quiff

That old thing called writing...

Back in the days before the digital totalitarian world formed from the mess of real human emotions there used to be a thing humans did called 'writing with pen and paper'. Before that they even used quills and ink. Same time as the Gutenberg press, mind, but the so-called luddites carried on using the old ways. Before that we had papyrus and kohl and cave paintings.

So I thought I would give you an inside look at the mind of the Korporation on paper and not digital flowing. Enjoy and have fun with the new game called: 'Which serial killers do NOT have Operation Phoenix background influences on their murders.' Write it down, scan it in, and send it through to us after subscribing to the Korporation.

The prize for guessing correctly is a weekend trip to MK-ULTRA's latest holiday resort for the perpetually insane. Fun for all of the family...

Handwriting Analysis is Easy