Instant Nowhere Kulture Dictionary: Squinteye

The unfortunate disposition of a SMombie who squints in order to see what is happening on their monitor screen. This is different to normal 'squinting' due to the fact that the person with squinteye needs spectacles in order to see clearly, but denies that this is the case. The victim of this disorder is firm in their belief that they can see perfectly well, but need to narrow their eyes a little bit for assistance.

'Squinteye' can affect anyone of any age but only if they spend the majority of their day accessing social media sites without a break from the glare of the harmful monitor screen.

Example: 'Charlie developed severe squinteye after spending twenty-two hours a day for three months on Facebook'.

Instant Nowhere Kulture Dictionary: SMombie

Prounced 'smombee', this term describes a person who spends all of his/her time using social media websites on the internet. Sufferers of this syndrome are usually zombie-like in appearance, and can either have a smart phone in hand, engrossed in constantly reading and updating their blog / sharing site / twitter etc or they are hunched over their PC / laptop / mac etc doing the same.

It can become a form of addiction more challenging to quit than heroin, cocaine or even PCP drug addiction.

Sufferers can be recognised through 'twitter' fingers, which constantly need to be typing, as well as many other symptoms such as 'squinteye', 'slashspeak', 'commentrage', 'overpoke' and  'facewatching'.

Example: 'Terry toweling became a SMombie after spending several days in bed due to an all-over body rash, and just his smart phone for company.'