Showing posts with label tom cruise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tom cruise. Show all posts

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

The Stepford Robots


What are those humans looking at?


Here we have the stepford versions of the Scientology mind blanks 'Tom Cruise' and 'Katie Holmes', and the voice for Sooty and Sweep 'David Beckham' with his favourite piece of plastic garden furniture 'Victoria Beckham'.

Unfortunately due to poor programming these four robotic clones are incapable of relating to human beings, and therefore cannot quite grasp why they are continuously being photographed, asked to star in corporate commercials and movies, asked to front Olympic campaigns and brain spanking cults like Scientology, and constantly handed their own brands of products to sell from clothing to toiletries, when all four of them have been given an inability to be genetically talented in any conceivable manner.

This is because the select few have no need to be talented.

As the saying goes 'Blood is thicker than water', so when you are part of the family a lack of talent or intellect does not need to be a hurdle to stop an individual getting on in life.


For more savage celebrity satire, reptilian updates, reptilian diaries, royal mutations, only a handful of people exist, and much more visit www.instantnowhere.com and subscribe your ego to an Instant Nowhere Universe.


Image by Arnie Canoe

Written by Roland Barnacle








Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Just fuck off part 2: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes


Two vacant Muppet's


Here we have another example of two vacant Muppet's brain spanked into a world of twat by the satanic mind controlled ramblings of Scientology.

'Tom Cruise' and 'Katie Holmes' are two of Scientology's biggest fans, which to be honest is of no surprise when you think about it as the both of them collectively have the intellect of a damp flannel coupled with all the charismatic appeal of a rather large dead and decaying dog.

'Tom Cruise' has an acting style that has never really evolved past that of a grinning simpleton, and as for his plastic mannequin of a wife I really have no idea what she actually does for a living other than looking incredibly tall standing next to her microscopic husband.

It is good to know that while the world balances on the brink of financial collapse, Hollywood celebrities like 'Tom Cruise' and 'Katie Holmes' can swan around at red carpet banquet events and indulge in lavish extravagance fit for a King, while at the same time children starve to death in third world countries crushed into economic nothingness by the very countries that allows celebrities like 'Tom Cruise' and 'Katie Holmes' to live their rich hideous lives.

Hollywood likes to celebrate all that is mindless, sterile, and banal so it really is of no surprise to see the films of 'Tom Cruise' doing so well in the Cinema as the mental age of the person stupid enough to want to pay to watch a 'Tom Cruise' movie must be far too low to calculate.

All of the 'Mission Implausible' films are utter garbage, and how 'Top Gun' ever did well enough to screech off the tarmac and launch the career of 'Tom Cruise' only the Illuminated members of Hollywood really know the answer.

What is clear is that individuals like 'Tom Cruise' and 'Katie Holmes', have zero talent and absolutely nothing to like about them. They spout their scientological nonsense to anyone thick enough to listen to it, when Scientology itself is just the satanic ramblings of it's founder 'L. Ron Hubbard', or 'Frater H' to give him his satanic name.

To put it quite simply 'Tom Cruise' and 'Katie Holmes' just need to fuck off and in the process help the environment by lowering their carbon footprint and disappearing up their own arses.

                                                                                                              By Roland Barnacle